Forgiveness

Forgiveness. It is the product of been loving and gracious. If there were no forgiveness from Above, you and I wouldn't be here today. You won't be sitting there in your underwear or pajamas reading this note, nor will I be here typing it. As Christians and children of God, we are called to forgive one another, whether its the mean girl who spread untrue things about you, the guy who cuts you off in traffic and on top of that looks like a criminal, the loved one who neverendingly disappoints you, the relative that took advantage of you, or the person who just isn't very good looking and is a sore sight.

Why should we forgive? You may ask. I have been asking that question lately. Does God not understand the pain and misery I went through? The hurt? The let down? When we look at it from our point of view, somethings are truly unforgivable. I can imagine someone being raped and having to have forgive the offender. Forgiving a murderer. Forgiving someone who cheated on you. The list goes on. Yet we are called to forgive.

Colossians 3:13 says "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Often we forget that God continually chooses to forgive us no matter what we do. That no matter what happens, we are still caught in that web of grace that God envelopes us with. So the reason why we should forgive is simply because God forgave us first.

I havestruggled to forgive someone . If I were to look at it in worldly terms, I have all the darn right not to. I loved that person to bits, only desired the best for her. I loved her for a long time, 2 and a half years. Believed in her. Prayed for her. Even when we were no longer an item and she did not want to talk to me, I fought for her. Things turned around eventually and I thought it would work out between us. But I was deceived, played like a fool. Soon I realised I was nothing but a toy, and when she found someone better, I was cast aside.

That kind of betrayal is hard to explain. All along I truly loved her and in return I was left to die while she walked away scott free. No sense of guilt, no remorse. When confronted, refuses to apologise, and in turn points the finger back at me. Its sickening when I think about it.

For a while, I thought I was over this. But it came back to haunt me and mock me. A sign that I have truly not let go. So now I am forced to face my fear. My sorrow. My unforgiveness.

I shake my fist in the air, calling out to God, screaming at Him, asking Him why should I forgive? This person tried to steal my destiny by bringing me down with her! A liar! A murderer! She killed me spiritually so many times! Where is the justice!

Matt 6:14-15 talks about how if you forgive other people God will forgive you and the opposite applies as well. Matt 18:21-35, Peter asks Jesus how many times should we actually forgive someone? Jesus answers in a parable, but his meaning is clear: As many times as needed. Often, we are so focused on other people and their faults that we do not see whats actually happening. At the very same time, we as human beings we sin as well. We make mistakes. We fall. We give in to temptation. God forgives it all. Without even needing to ask, He forgives. He accepts us with open arms, redemption comes at no cost, all it takes is going back to our Father.

In Mark 11:22-25 it states how Jesus adds forgiveness in praying for things. Thats the thing. Maybe sometimes we are not getting that break through because we have not forgiven? Forgiveness is the heartbeat of God.

Matthew 6:14-15 (New International Version)
14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

That is very very simple to understand. If you do not forgive, why should God forgive you?

Matt 5:38-47 talks about turning the other cheek and loving your enemies.. its a crazy concept. Its mind blowing. It does not make sense at all. Loving your enemies you say! In fact, God even wants us to pray for our enemies. WHAT?! Thats insane! You're right. But at the same time, it is neccessary. Because we live in such a fallen world, where it is void of love and meaning and conflict is aplenty. As Christians, we are called to make a difference. If you read the last part of ths scripture, it says what good is only loving when you are loved back. Even unbelievers do that. Making a difference is loving and praying for the people who have wronged you. Being nice to that snob, saying hello and smiling to that person who gossps about you. Showing the love of Christ through you.

So here I am, still bitter and angry. Still wanting answers. But you know what, at the end of the day, it doesnt matter if she apologises or not, if she answers my questions or we have a formal sit down and talk about it. Because the end result is still the same. I have to forgive.

Forgiving someone sometimes makes it seem like you are the one who is being shortchanged, like you lost. But let me tell you this. In God's eyes, you have already won. Proverbs 21-22 says if you bless your enemy you heap burning coals on his head and God will reward you. You see, it does not matter what the world says or thinks, because God is the one running the world. And there will be justice. God will repay. It is not up to you (Romans 12:17-21). Do what you have to do, and leave the rest to God.

In conclusion, I want to talk about forgetting as well. We are called to love our enemies, and what is love? Read 1 Cor 13. It mentions that love keeps no records of wrongs. Forgiveness and forgetting goes hand in hand. Let me explain.

Imagine a player in a football game. A pass is given to the player that sets him up in the position to score. That pass is forgiveness. Now, what happens next is important as well. If the player converts that chance into a goal, it was all worth it! But if he does not, the pass no matter how good goes to waste. Forgetting is scoring that goal. Just like that illustration, forgiveness without forgetting is not complete.

When I talk about forgetting, I don't mean you totally disregard what happened, but I mean you no longer let it affect you. It can serve as a reminder and a lesson, but please, don't let it drain your life away. There are so many days and possibilities ahead. Life is too short to be dwelling on such things. That person may have taken a lot from you, so why let them take anymore?

Let me add, that unforgiveness and not forgetting a wrong can and will bound you to a life of bondage. There will be no peace nor freedom in not forgiving someone. Trust me, I have experienced it first hand. Bitterness and resentment is a prison that does not discriminate, do not allow your pride to fall into that trap.

So who have you not forgiven? Pray and ask God to reveal that to you. Be free my friends. Forgive and forget.

Father, forgive my act of not forgiving. I repent.